Support a Muslim Lesbian this New Year

http://www.mpacuk.org/mpac/data/88b2a4ce/88b2a4ce.jsp

Irshad Manji, a poor (well, poor relative to what she wants to be) gay 'Muslim' needs your help. Irshad has released a book titled, "The Trouble with Islam, A Wake-Up Call for Honesty and Change". The book amongst other things calls for changes to the Quran and portrays Muslims as an army of anti-Semitic robots. Unfortunately the book is fairly abysmal in all aspects and she needs the help of her Ummah to ensure this book is a success.

Irshad grew up in Canada where she struggled trying to obtain the basics such as Gucci and a good hairdresser (and there's us feeling sorry for the Afghans). She managed to start a career in media, however faced extreme prejudice by those who discriminate against the talentless. Her colour was of no help either; sadly token Asians were now aplenty.

She needed to be very different to be noticed. Even the spiky hair and bad dress sense was not enough to propel her career. She needed something else, something bizarre that would win her friends and publicity. One day she had a brainwave - she would market herself as a 'lesbian Muslim'.

Being a gay in the media (Imran Khan take note, if your media career needs a bit of a kick start) does for one's career what getting an MBA from Harvard does for your progress in Management. However, after coming out the closet she still failed to make the big time and thus felt the need for some tool to help promote herself; some kind of bandwagon to grab onto which would compliment her gay Muslim stance. Bingo.. another brainwave… she decided to write a book demonising Islam and revealing all about how hard it is for gay Muslims etc etc. In today's Islamaphobic climate this was a guaranteed money spinner. However, not all has gone to plan as publicity and sales have been sluggish to say the least.

Your probably thinking, I sympathise a with this sister in need, but how can I help when I just gave my last £5 to the Earthquake appeal. Don't worry there are other ways you can help her with her book.

Get hold of a copy of her book, gather all your relatives (long bearded ones only) and then call a TV news team to film a book burning, remembering to chant anything you like as long as its sounds Arabic.

Make an lifelike effigy of her and stone it in a secret location, but make sure you allow hidden cameras in to film it and pass it on to Imran Khan (he's looking for a lucky break at the moment) and co. at the BBC.

Get your local Imam to issue a Fatwa on her head. If the Imam is too busy then local Halal butcher or Grocer will do i.e. anyone the media can describe a prominent Muslim leader.

Of course we are taking the Michael, but seriously that is what Irshad really hoped for, in order to somehow profit from the public reaction. She was so confident of being Salman Rushdie No. 2 that she pre-emptively requested special protection status from the Canadian authorities. Sadly they turned her down as the hate email and death threats did not materialise. Muslims, after taking such a battering from the media had no stomach for controversy and sensibly ignored such trash.

Generally it is important for Muslims Scholars to engage with 'western/non-Muslim scholars' for sake of Islam and humanity, but Irshad is no scholar (can't even speak Arabic yet tries to debase the Quran) nor has any genuine concern for Muslims as she would realise the only enthusiasts of her book are going to be the enemies of Islam.

Kafir in many guises have always attacked Islam. Some of the biggest we face today in the UK are from the increasingly Islamaphobic press which has partly grown as a result of our own apathy. You don't need to be a scholar to respond to these attacks as Muslims responding to MPAC alerts have shown with a hugely successful year.

However, one pertinent point from this may be that as an Ummah we are understandably more paranoid then usual and thus cower from asking ourselves difficult questions. But only those with real Iman and Fiqh can pose and solve these questions, i.e. not those without even the basic tenets of faith. For those clearly in it for the money, eager to stoke Muslim anger to help gain recognition, then simply, they are not worth the time of day.

Hopefully this is a much time as you'll spend worrying about the likes of Irshad Manji and an go back to spending your time for the sake of Allah swt (or making voodoo dolls of infidels as Irshad Manji would like people to believe).





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